Starting over and finding love through art

I find it interesting that when we ask people “what do you do for a living?”, we typically are looking for an answer related to a job.

But is that all we do for a living?

We judge life based upon this unwritten life bingo. The bingo board sold to us as the only milestones available to achieve happiness.

Be a good student. Graduate. Go to college. Graduate. Get married. Have children. Live happily ever after.

The end.

Yes, these moments can be beautiful to many. But what about when it is not? What if it does not feel right? What if you are unable to achieve it the conventional ways? Are you then undeserving of happiness? Utter joy?

The limitations of this. The negativity it breeds. Fear. Jealousy. Loneliness. Worthlessness. Hopelessness.

The emotional void.

Yet something inside of me screams… this cannot be the only way…

I am fascinated by the ever growing, ever evolving, infinite universe.

What it took for me to exist in this very moment is in itself a phenomenon. We are flying through space around these super hot stars. Just expanding and growing.

But we on earth have decided to judge our beautiful existence solely on a few factors that many do not achieve.

Can my worth be only decided by ever changing standards of what society deems it takes to be considered “human”?

I find that I was even policing my own hobbies. I openly talk about my love of dance. But I often feel ashamed of my lack of professional training. As if it changes how it feels to me on the inside.

What if I could just enjoy this moment? Indulge in what gives me joy even if its not done perfectly?

As I was setting up this account I noticed how excited I was about the topics.

“Wait…is this a hobby?” (pauses and ponders)

I love learning languages but I have not yet reached a level of fluency. That does change the feeling I get inside while learning it?

I like yoga but I struggle. Does that struggle delete the feeling I feel when I am home doing some basic moves?

I loved writing as a kid. I could get lost in creating my own worlds. Setting my imagination free. I was never great with grammar. It felt restrictive to me when I am trying to express myself. So I eventually stopped writing as much as I did before. I always keep a journal and I take notes everywhere. I write. I enjoy it. If the structure of my words as I translate my emotions, does not fit the given rules is the freedom I experienced non existent?

How can my love and my joy only be measured or determined by those structures of other first time Earth inhabitants? Everything is perspective.

We only have this moment once. This one snapshot. The one place in space and time. There is so much beauty in that. To have this experience. To be a human experiencing this wondrous rock.

Should we not honor our art as it is? The beauty that is? Our existence as it is? Create, grow and expand wildly just as our universe?

I believe hobbies are another way to capture the moment. Giving our time to doing something we know and love as much as we can. It even feels good to experience other people enjoying their art.

I am a self proclaimed hippie so I can just imagine what it would feel like if more humans had the ability to experience joy organically. Allowing the person to tap into their inner soul and set it free. The beauty in that. The healing in that.

So for today in this moment…I will create my own art. Place words on a page. Moves to a vibration. Words to an emotion.

Today I start where I am. Embrace being a beginner because every human being is a beginner in some way. Invite in flow and the duality necessary for growth. Be light. Be love.